I tripped over my laces, can I sue New Labour?

You're unlucky there, from March 2010 the lovely caring Nanny Labour party are ensuring that all laces are sold with a health warning, introducing a licensing system to ensure that you must have a permit to have laces (�95 for a new permit, �75 for a renewal), are employing 175,000 "laces inspectors" to ensure shoe safety on our pavements and introducing a Laces Register for which shoe owners will be obliged to sign up for (�50 for a new sign up or �45 renewal). There is also a �2bn budget to bring laces to the less well off and Gordon Brown doing an emotional vote winning TV interview blubbing about some laces he used to like.